Anus Beauty Contest

The 3 individuals with the most attractive anuses will split $10,000 of prize money and on November 8th, 2016, one will win the anus’s highest office: Anus Beauty King or Queen of the World.

The began its life in 2014 as a crowdfunded blowjob machine and a viral vulva beauty contest added vaginal functionality in 2015.  To celebrate the upcoming US election, sex toy inventor and entrepreneur Brian Sloan will add the final orifice with another online first: an anus beauty pageant. For the next 35 days, contestants may submit photos of their anuses to where the voting public will assign each anus a score between one and ten stars. The 3 individuals with the highest scored anuses will win respectively $5,000, $3,000 and $2,000 and have their anuses replicated onto a new series of Autoblow 2+ sleeves.

As Sloan stated in the Anus Contest’s informational video, he was plagued by the question of whether or not a beautiful anus exists, and hopes that this contest will find the answer. The contest is a “battle of the sexes, anus edition.”

Chicago singer/songwriter David Safran wrote and performed a theme song for the contest which Sloan turned into a karaoke style music video featuring anus-like fruits and vegetables.  

Sloan said, “I hope that all Americans will warm up their voting rights in the Anus Contest before hitting the polls to vote in the Presidential Election on November 8th. I invite people from all countries of the world, especially those which are not democracies, to experience the unique flavor of our American democratic process by participating in the Anus Contest, which I have constructed to be as much like our Presidential Election as possible. I feel so happy that people of all cultures and of all races and of all religious will come together, even if it is only to vote on the attractiveness of each other’s butt holes.”

Contestants may enter and the public is invited to vote at . Winners may choose to remain anonymous.