5 BDSM Principles That Should Rule Your Relationship



BDSM has become something of a hot topic in pop culture recently, but longtime practitioners know it’s far more than just a fad. It’s a lifestyle for many, and a fun part of a relationship for even more. Whether you’ve dabbled in bondage or never considered such kinks, there are several principles of BDSM that are applicable to every relationship.

You might be surprised by how relevant the following ideas are to your marriage or even simply your dating life. The basis of every relationship, after all—in or out of the bedroom—should be mutual respect.

The following principles are ones that should be present in any healthy and loving relationship. Regardless of whether you and your partner are into kink, you can take a few cues from these ideas and incorporate them into your love life. The results are sure to be pleasing to all parties.

Always Prioritize Clear Communication

According to the Huffington Post, there are a number of keys that should define the interactions you have with your partner. Clear communication is of the utmost importance in BDSM situations and in every other type of relationship, too—but how exactly do you achieve it? Whether you’re chatting on a dating site like   or negotiating a conflict with your spouse, communication should be respectful and effective. It is always a good idea to resist the urge to overreact, listen actively and save suggestions until your partner is ready to hear them. Following these tips can create smoother communications

Always Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries

If you ask anybody who enjoys BDSM what the most important component is, many of them will tell you that it’s boundaries. Understanding where your partner draws the line is imperative to any part of a relationship. Whether you are dating, married or engaging in a casual fling, you need to be on the same page with your partner if you want to avoid disappointment and resentment. Initiate mindful conversations to clarify any uncertainties. This is a good idea for casual relationships found on sites link as well as more serious long-term relationships and marriages.

Always Trust Your Partner Completely

It is important to establish and maintain a basis of trust with your partner. Whether you are negotiating finances, enjoying BDSM in the bedroom or taking a relationship to the next step, trust is at the foundation of everything that a couple does. That’s why it’s imperative that you partner with somebody you know you can trust. If you or your partner has issues with this, there are several steps you can take. Psychology Today suggests   such as strategically communicating and acting empathetically can go a long way in fostering the foundation your relationship needs.

Always Show Your Partner You Care

Nothing is more important than demonstrating you care about your partner. Though power imbalances are often a central focus of BDSM, at the end of the day, such scenarios cannot exist without equality within the relationship. This is why you should always prioritize your partner’s wellbeing and happiness, and they should, in turn, prioritize yours. Demonstrating to your partner that you care for them is an essential part of maintaining the intimacy and love that makes day to day living special and enjoyable. Without it, your partner can easily start feeling unappreciated or overlooked—and you don’t want that.

Always Be Careful and Conscientious

BDSM can range from light play to serious kink, but no matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, care is always of the utmost importance. This is true physically, but it is also true emotionally, too. It is always imperative that you treat your partner with care. Saying something hurtful is easy, but fixing it isn’t. Rather than saying or doing something you may later regret, treat your partner with the respect they deserve even if situations tempt you to do otherwise. This is important whether you are enjoying a casual relationship or interacting with your long-term partner.

These are just a few of the principles that define BDSM and prove applicable to relationships in general, too. If you are looking for a new partner and wondering where to start, browsing a dating site and employing these tips may help you find the kind of relationship you are seeking.

Used with kind permission from Coleen Singer and our friends at  

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